Over the Thanksgiving holiday this year, there’s plenty of sports to bet on.
The NFL Thanksgiving games are always a popular market for gamblers, and with more football prop bets than ever this Turducken Day, you can be sure that sportsbooks both online and off are going to turn record handles.
There’s also a pair of Thanksgiving college football games to bet on, with ninth-ranked Ole Miss taking on Mississippi State in the headliner.
Of course, once the tryptophan wears off and the day’s contests parlay themselves into post-game noise and late-night infomercials, the betting doesn’t have to stop.
Now, most years, you’d usually get a dozen or so Black Friday betting lines to choose from. But unfortunately, Americans are really feeling the pinch in 2021.
As such, there are only a few Black Friday lines available – albeit there are likely to be many, many more if you’re actually fool enough to go to your local Walmart or Best Buy on Friday morning.
Still, these Black Friday odds are all interesting – and confounding – in their own ways.
Of course, given that Black Friday is primarily reflective of consumer spending habits and predicated on historical shopping trends, one could make the argument that MyBookie Sportsbook’s handful of inflation odds (i.e. gas prices, milk prices, bacon prices, and so on) constitute a special variety of Black Friday odds in their own right.
Nevertheless, we’d feel a little disingenuous including those.
Actually, on second thought, no we wouldn’t.
Right now, the old pocketbook is under considerable strain, and we’ll take all the entertaining relief we can get.
As such, we’re including inflation odds along with this year’s Black Friday odds (though one could make the argument that these are – in fact – more accurately portrayed as Thanksgiving odds than Black Friday odds).
And if you don’t like it, well, you get what you vote for.
Or, as the case may be, perhaps not.
Black Friday 2021 Shopping Odds
Will Tea Turtles sell out on Amazon.com before Nov. 26, 2021?
- Yes -190
- No +140
If you have no idea what a Tea Turtle is, you’re not alone. We were similarly clueless until about an hour ago.
First of all, “Tea Turtles” aren’t actually a thing, because they’re really called “TeeTurtles.” (This is a typo by the oddsmakers at MyBookie, but don’t expect such a mistake to save you from a bad bet.)
So then, what’s a TeeTurtle?
Well, that’s another problem: It’s not a single thing. Instead, TeeTurtles are a whole line of things. Namely, reversible plushy things.
They’re basically little collectible baubles that have recently been hyped across the mainstream media and by countless TikTok influencers and the like.
At any rate, if you want one of these things, there are several different versions to choose from, and they appear to be attaining a “Beanie Babies” style cult following.
As for the betting line, we’re not sure if this is asking whether the entire line will sell out, or simply if any single model will sell out.
We presume it’s positing the former.
Will “Squishy Little Golden Dumplings” sell out on Amazon.com before Nov. 26, 2021?
- Yes -250
- No +170
So apparently, there are two Furby-class parental annoyances this holiday season: the above reversible doodads and these comically named stress ball things.
Made by WowWee, My Squishy Little Dumplings is an entire line of interactive fidget toys, but the betting line above is referring exclusively to the limited edition golden model (or Trump model, which it obviously is):
Of course, you can also buy this particular item in a two-pack, which harbors some significance to the question of availability.
However, the biggest question re said availability is simply this: Is the betting line above limited to stock from the official WowWee Amazon store, or are retailers and resellers fair game?
In either case, you can probably just buy a few of these instead of betting, and then flip them for mad profits.
Then again, if you do that, you can’t collect your payout in Bitcoin. And Bitcoin is the ultimate squishy little golden dumpling, after all.
Avg. Price Of Gasoline (One Gallon) By End Of 2021
- Over $3.50 -200
- Under $3.50 +160
Over. We will not be traveling this Thanksgiving.
Avg. Price Of Eggs (One Dozen) By End Of 2021
- Under $2.00 -140
- Over $2.00 +110
Under. We will be having deviled eggs this Thanksgiving.
Avg. Price Of Milk (One Gallon) By End Of 2021
- Under $4.00 -150
- Over $4.00 +120
Under. You can’t make good stuffing without milk. When the mix says “just add water,” ignore that pathetic nonsense and dump in the good stuff. Also, anyone who uses yogurt instead of milk is a Jets fan.
Also also, mashed potatoes and pumpkin pie.
Avg. Price Of Bacon (One Pound) By End Of 2021
- Over $8.00 -120
- Under $8.00 -120
Irrelevant. We have bacon with every meal, and no amount of Bidenflation™ is going to change that.
Avg. Price Of Coffee (One Pound) By End Of 2021
- Over $5.00 -160
- Under $5.00 +130
Inapplicable. Thanksgiving is for eating and sleeping. And then eating and sleeping some more.
Will Joe Biden deploy US National Guard trucks to reduce shipping backlogs?
- No -500
- Yes +300
If he does, it certainly won’t be in time to have any impact on what’s shaping up to be the most expensive Thanksgiving in history and the least satisfying Black Friday of all time.
We still can’t find an Xbox Series X, and it’s been over a year.
2021 Black Friday Dow Jones Odds
Final Digit Of Dow Jones Industrial Average At Close On Nov. 26
- 0 +750
- 1 +750
- 2 +750
- 3 +750
- 4 +750
- 5 +750
- 6 +750
- 7 +750
- 8 +750
- 9 +750
The stock market’s a lottery, and so is this. Lucky number seven, because why not?
Final Digit Of DJIA (Including Decimals) At Close On Nov. 26
- Even -105
- Odds -105
We’re doubling down on seven, so the odds for odd’s the odds we like.